It's Been A While
by DomLetty101
Summary: What happens if someone brings Elliot and Olivia back together. They both have different lives, but the feelings don't just disappear. Good or bad, they are still there.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is my first E/O fic, so I hope you enjoy! I will be updating my other fics soon here! Im sorry for the wait! R &R**

* * *

"Noah, stop running away buddy, it's too busy over here" I told my son as I caught up to him.

"Do you have change?" A homeless mad said to me, and I pulled out what I had and handed it to him, when I turned back Noah was shaking a homeless woman's hand.

"I'm Noah, what's you're name?"

"Noah!" I shouted.

"I'm…"

"Bernadette" We both said in unison.

"Olivia?" The older woman said with a smile, I leaned in and hugged her feeling the thinness of her jacket feeling terrible because it was the winter and I knew she must be freezing.

"How have you been dear?" She asked me holding my hand.

"I've been good, I have a son now" I said motioning to Noah. "Still working lot's now that I'm Sergeant."

"Good job, dear. I always knew you'd get promoted quicker then my hot-headed son would" She joked, and I felt a wave of sadness run through my veins. For years I have avoided any conversation of Elliot and here I was standing with his mother.

"Bernadette?"

"Please Liv, call me Bernie, you know that"

"Bernie, what are you doing out here?" I asked her quietly not wanting to embarrass her.

"Well, you know the market, and no one wants to hire a senior, much less a senior who is bi-polar. The money that Joe left behind had to come to an end at some point"

"What does Elliot think of all this?" I asked wanting to know why Elliot wouldn't help his own mother, I knew they had tension, but I know he would have never left her like this.

"Elliot doesn't know"

"Bernie"

"I don't want to burden him, this is my problem, not his"

"You're his mother, not a burden"

"Ever since the divorce and custody battles, I didn't want to add this on top of everything else"

"Divorce? Custody battles?"

"Yes, him and Kathy divorced 4 years ago, and she won't sign the papers now it's a custody battle, and it's not been easy for him"

I was shocked because I honestly had no idea about any of this.

"Bernie, come with us. You can stay at my place, it's far too cold to be out here"

"No Liv, I couldn't put you out"

"Trust me, you're not. In fact it might actually be nice having another adult around to have conversations with, not that I don't love talking to this little one, it would be great to have another adult around."

"Oh I'm not sure, Olivia. I would feel like I'm just taking up space"

"Please Bernie, I would love it if you did. And we have a spare room, and if you want you could watch Noah for me tomorrow night since my nanny needs the night off"

"Okay, as long as you're sure"

"I'm sure" I smiled as the three of us made our way back to my place.

I brought Bernie to the spare room and she set the only bag she had on it.

"Thank you, Liv"

"Of course" I told her sincerely as I made my way out to start dinner.

"Mama?"

"Yes baby?"

"How do you know Miss Bernie" I smiled at his curiosity as well as his manners.

"Well, do you remember mommy telling you about her old friend, Elliot?" I said as a shiver ran down my spine, I haven't said his name in years.

"Yes"

"That's his mommy"

"Cool! Is Elliot coming too?" He asked dipping his finger in the cookie batter I was making for after dinner. Before I could answer Bernie walked out.

"You know young man, that's something my Elliot used to do too" She smiled as he licked his finger clean of the batter.

"It's the best part!"

"That's what he always said, you're just like your fath-" I went wide eyed to what she was getting at.

"Bernie are you hungry?" I asked cutting her off quickly before she could finish that.

"Yes dear"

"Noah, how about you go play in your room for a bit"

"Okay mama" Once he was out of ear shot I pulled Bernie aside

"Bernie, you know Noah isn't Elliots?"

"What? Oh dear I am so sorry, I just assumed once the divorce was filed you two would have gotten together, I just thought Elliot was keeping the custody battle a secret from you"

"No, I uhm, I haven't seen Elliot in 4 years, since he left"

"Oh that stupid boy" She said making me chuckle

"Why?"

"All Elliot ever talked about was you, how he wished he could tell you he loved you without hurting you"

"Without hurting me?"

"He said he knew he hurt you before, and he couldn't tell you without you thinking you'd be the other woman, so I assumed when the divorce happened, that's when he told you"

"He never told me that"

"He's just like his daddy"

"Do you and El still talk?"

"Every once and a while, I get to a payphone and check on him, I know I tried to catch up more when he started to drink more, but he assured me he had it under control." I didn't know his life was spiraling like it was.

"Is he working anywhere?"

"Not that I know of, when he retired, he thought everything would be different, and I think for a while it was good, but when he filed for divorce, and everything with the ids, he just wasn't himself. He went into a deep depression. I would go to check on him in the beginning and he would answer the door in his sweatpants messy hair, and beer bottles all around the house at 4 in the afternoon. He was a mess."

"Was he ever..?"

"He never showed any signs of being suicidal, but I think the kids played a large part in that" She said answering my unanswered question of what I feared most.

We continued on with small talk and once I put Noah to bed, Bernadette went to shower. I put some pyjamas and fresh sheets in her room. What caught my eye was the two photos she had brought with her and placed upon the night stand. It was a photo of Elliot and the kids about 6 years ago at Elliots surprise party at the precinct. Elliots happy smile, his ocean blue eyes, his relaxed posture and his kids silly faces, what caught my attention was his right arm. His right arm was wrapped securely around my waist as I smiled a genuine smile along with him. I never realized he was holding me like that. Kathy had been in Jersey visiting her parents, and the kids were all supposed to be busy, but I convinced them to come down to surprise Elliot, especially after the hard day he had that day. The other photo was a more recent one. It was a picture with him and the kids, the kids were older, and looked like they had a forced smile on their faces, they loved being with their dad so I don't know what changed. Elliot didn't have a smile on his face, he had bags under his empty eyes and his posture looked tired. This wasn't the Elliot I once loved. Maybe even still loved…

I wondered if he would even talk to me, I ignored him for months, years now. I made no effort to contact him, I just completely cut him off, and for good reason. He was the only man to break my heart, but my heart was breaking even more now knowing he was in this much pain.

Once Bernie was out of the shower, we said our goodnights and we made our way to our separate rooms. I laid in bed starring at my phone, contemplating if I should make that call. He had a right to know where his mother was, it was his mother after all. I could have called one of the kids, but if they don't know the state of their grandmother, I'm not the one who should be telling them. I also knew, I wanted to hear his voice no matter how much I told myself I didn't.

I wondered if his number was still the same? Would he even answer if he knew it was me? Will he hang up when he finds out it's me. Before I could question it I had my finger hovering over the call button. I took a deep breath and pressed it allowing the ringing to travel through my ears almost in slow motion.

 _1 ring_

 _2 ring_

 _3 ring_

 _4 ring._ I should just hang up.

"What?" An angry voice said, he must know it's me. This was a mistake.

"Hello?" It said again with more annoyance.

"Listen buddy, I'm not in the mood for these games, so who the fuck is this!" He shouted. He didn't know it was me.

"Alright fine, you can fuck off and don't call back he-"

"El" I said quietly, and silence filled the line.

"Olivia?"

 **TBC…**


	2. Why Not Me?

**A/N: Hope you enjoy, R &R!**

* * *

 _Olivia POV_

I stayed silent when he said my name, I hadn't heard his voice in years and in an instant, I went blank.

"Olivia?" I heard him say again, and yet I was still silent.

"Liv" I felt a tingle in my spine at the nickname he used on me. "Liv, I know you're there I can hear you breathing" He said softly.

"Hi, sorry to bother you" I started

"No, it's not a bother at all, Liv. It's really nice to hear your voice again. How have you been?"

"Uh fine. Look this isn't why I called" I said just trying to get to the point.

"What is it? Are you ok? Are you hurt? Where are you?" He said in a panicked tone.

"I'm fine, El. Even if I wasn't I'm more than capable of handling it myself." I said with a bitter tone.

"I know you are, but I just want to make sure you're ok"

"I'm fine. I called to tell you that your moms here. I normally wouldn't have called but I figured you deserved to know, and she deserves help from her son"

"Help? Why is my mom there, Liv? What's going on? The conversation was bound to get deeper from here.

"She's been living on the streets, Elliot. Has been for quite sometime, when I saw her I couldn't just leave her there. She had a thin jacket on in the middle of fucking winter. Rents are too high, your father's money ran out, and finding a job hasn't been easy for her. She tried to keep it together for you but-"

"But, she didn't want to burden me" Elliot said with a sigh.

"Yeah"

"I hate that she does that, I always tell her when she needs me come to me. She never wants to tell me the bad in her life, so I can help her. She wants to do everything on her own."

"Well can you blame her, El? What parent wants to ask their kid for help. She saw you were going through so much already."

"I wasn't going through so much that I couldn't help my own mother, Liv"

"I know" We both stayed quiet for a while neither one of us knowing what to say.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you" He said genuinely. He could be a real son of a bitch, but I knew when he was being genuine and right now, he was.

"You're welcome"

"I'll come by and pick her up just let me get dressed" He said, and I felt a tingle in my lower half knowing I was talking to a very naked Elliot Stabler, well at least that's what my hormones had assumed.

"It's ok, she's sleeping now. She can stay as long as she wants, El. It's not a problem"

"Could I come by in the morning?"

"Yeah, I'm at 201 -86th street East apartment 17A."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I live on 84th" Elliot said and we both let out a small laugh realizing how close we lived to each other, but in reality, with the amount of people in New York and the weird hours I work it's no surprise that I haven't seen Elliot.

"Guess were neighbours"

"Why'd you move?"

"After the kidnapping I just couldn't go back there, I didn't feel safe anymore, and I nee-"

"Kidnapped?" Elliot said with shock. "You were kidnapped!" He yelled

"Elliot, it's fine, I'm alive."

"No, Liv it's not fine! Why didn't you call me and tell me this after? I would have stayed with you and protected you!" He was angry, but it was a scared anger. I was touched that he cared, but I was still the same Olivia, the one who didn't need any man to protect me.

"I didn't need your help, Elliot! I'm fine!" I said now starting to get annoyed. "You made the choice to leave your job, your team, your friends, and me. So why would I need you when you sure as hell didn't need or care about me before"

I didn't realize I was yelling until a tiny little voice whispered.

"Mommy why are you yelling?" I don't think Elliot heard it because I barely heard it.

"Hold on baby," I said softly. "Elliot I gotta go, I'll see you tomorrow" I said as I hung up before letting him respond. I picked up Noah and brought him back to his room.

"Mommy why were you yelling?"

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to wake you up. I was just talking to a friend and we didn't agree but I shouldn't have yelled and I'm sorry."

"That's ok mama, can we go to the park tomorrow?"

"We can try, but if I can't, Lucy will take you, ok?"

"Okay" He said tiredly as he rolled over and went back to sleep.

I went back to my bedroom realizing Elliot would be coming over tomorrow and suddenly sleep was the last thing on my mind.

* * *

 _Elliot POV_

So many things were running through my mind, the main one being Oliva was kidnapped. She never told me, the guys never told me, I know I left them and they have every right to be mad, but just because I left didn't mean I stopped caring. I loved Olivia, and hearing that she was kidnapped and terrified broke my heart. I don't even know if he- I can't think about if he did more to her. All I know is I failed her. I also noticed she called someone baby. I guess I lost my chance, I don't have anyone to blame but myself. I let her down and I let her go. I tried to fall asleep but I couldn't, so I grabbed my phone once again and I googled 'Olivia Benson' just to see any information.

'Detective Olivia Benson Kidnapped'

'William Lewis, Serial Rapist Kidnaps Detective Benson'

'Where is Detective Benson?'

'Detective Olivia Benson Found Beaten and Tortured!'

These were some of the titles of the news articles I found along with pictures, I knew I shouldn't have clicked them, but I did.

The first was a picture of Liv bloodied and bruised in the back of a cruiser wrapped in a blanket. The other was of Olivia in what looked like an abandoned warehouse where she was crying holding a gun to her head. I didn't realize the tears that started to fall but I quickly wiped them as I continued onto more articles. I went onto Facebook and started to type in Olivia's name, I hadn't been on here in years and I realized she had deleted on Facebook, but I had seen some pictures she was tagged in.

"Cassidy" I groaned seeing a picture of the two of them together, what pissed me off was the date it was posted, they were clearly together the time she was kidnapped so where the fuck was he during that time.

I continued to scroll through and there was another picture of Olivia kissing some man, a man whose face was not in the picture just the back of his head. When I clicked it the name appeared?

"No way" I said realizing who the man was.

"Tucker" Ed fucking Tucker. Kissing Olivia, my Olivia. She was letting him.

I went back into Google and typed in Ed Tucker and Olivia Benson and mostly police events showed up but there was a couple of them together, one of them in Paris kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. The other one was Liv resting her head on Eds shoulders while he held his grandson I think.

How did Olivia go for Tucker, the son of a bitch tried to send her to jail before, I got her out and she chose him over me? I was seeing red at this point I pulled my sweat pants up and pulled a hoodie on. I slipped on some shoes and made my way to the address Liv gave me. Once I arrived I began to bang on the door. About a minute later the most beautiful woman holding a gun and an annoyed look on her face answered.

Olivia POV

I woke up in a panic to the sound of someone banging on my door I reached over in my nightstand and pulled out my gun, I quietly made my way to the door and checked the peephole and saw none other than Elliot Stabler.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?"

"Why him" He demanded

"What? Why who?"

"Tucker! Why Tucker and not me!"

"Elliot! Lower your voice, and I don't need to tell you shit, you made he choi-"

"Mommy?" Noah's voice said quietly for the second time that night, and I watched Elliot's face fall.

"I'm sorry baby, did mommy wake you again?"

"Yes, hi Elliot" He said softly as he rubbed his eyes

"Hi" Elliot said quietly as I picked up Noah and brought him back to his bed before I went back out to see Elliot.

"Tuckers?" Elliot asked

"No"

"Cassidy?"

"No, Elliot, why are you here questioning me on who I've slept with?"

"The picture of you and Tucker with him" He said motioning to Noah's room.

"Noah, his name is Noah"

"Yeah with you, Tucker and Noah. You looked like a family"

"Because we were, El" I sighed

"Why him and not me!" He said starting to shout again.

"Come here" I said grabbing his wrist pulling him into my bedroom to talk.

"Why are you asking me this now, Elliot?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's what I mean, why are you asking me now, 5 years later. You ask me now that I've been with other men, men you hate, now that I have a son and a new life that doesn't involve you. So why now?"

"You never gave me a chance, Liv"

"You were never open for one! You were married, then you left! I couldn't sit around and wait for you, how pathetic did you think I was?"

"Liv, Tucker tried to put you away, tried to split us up many times, tried to get me fired, had a temper just as bad as mine, so why out of all that would you choose him over me?"

"Do you really want to know Elliot"

"Yes, Olivia I do"

"When I adopted Noah, I was alone, I've never been a mother and I was scared. Tucker would swing by the precinct to update us on information and whenever Noah was there, he used to pull him aside and tell him stories, he came in more often and had a goal to make Noah smile, and then he tried to do the same with me. When I was kidnapped, Tucker was the one who came to check on me, he did what he could to make me feel safe again. He didn't undermine me after what happened, and watching him love my son as his own really made me fall in love with him." I told him honestly as he rubbed his forehead and sat at the edge of my bed.

"I'm sorry, Liv"

"I know." We both stayed silent a little longer feeling the awkward tension in the room.

"I should get going, I'm sorry for just showing up like this"

"You can take the couch if you want" I suggested.

"Wouldn't be the first time" He joked.

"Yeah, it wouldn't be" I smiled

I opened the closet and pulled out some extra blankets and handled them to Elliot with a small smile.

He grabbed them and put them down and pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm so happy you're ok" He whispered, and I reached my arms around him slowly and hugged him back.

"I'm getting there" I whispered back as I pulled away and retreated to my bedroom

"Night, Liv"

"Night," I smiled as I closed my door letting sleep take over me.

 **TBC…**


End file.
